“The Edge…”
“…there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.” – Hunter S. Thompson
***
What compels me to do the things I do. The illegal activities I engage in are more than prison worthy. As to say; people have been and are being imprisoned for less. Why would I risk it? What do I get out of this? This is no enigma.
Bewilderment.
I wouldn’t classify myself as an addict, nor would I say I abuse drugs. Before using, I educate myself. Not only do I look at the basic facts but I also learn from people who have experimented first hand via a nexus or the hive mind. The best way to learn is to question. To ask why. Question authority. As much as people would like to believe that the human psyche is like a square block that fits into a square hole, I can testify it most certainly is not. I’m a responsible user who operates well within my means. I believe most people are afraid. While they might not be afraid of drugs or LSD specifically, they are afraid of their job, their family, their friends. I don’t plan on deviating too far from my point here but let me take a second to state that these fears and the pressures that are responsible for them are based solely on our cultures determinations of what is good, bad, moral, and immoral. There are plenty of cultures that embrace self exploration and the means in which you do it. I’m not ignorant enough to believe that there aren’t plenty of people who abuse drugs thus surrounding what would otherwise be a harmless drug culture with violence, greed, and self destruction. The solution isn’t clear.
Back on point: LSD. Dimethyltryptamine. Dextromethorphan. Psilocybe Cubensis. These are the tools of my trade. These tools take me closer to that bewilderment I so crave. Closer to that edge. All of them bring a unique element to the table. A truly psychedelic experience, where you are totally immersed in your own manifestations, is something that can’t be put to words. There are things so much more amazing than any worldly experience happening right behind your eyes. To experience this is to expand your understanding. It can be a very humbling experience.
Hunter was right though. You don’t know you’re at the edge until you’ve gone over. I’m not sure what it means to go over the edge. Is it the burnouts on rock bottom? Or the crazies in the asylums? Is it the apathetic? Charlie Manson? I’m not sure. That’s why I keep a careful distance while examining as much as possible, desperately seeking to be in awe but obviously not willing to see how deep the water gets. To not know what’s on the other side of the edge is frightening. Maybe this is why these sorts of drugs are illegal. Maybe I’m wrong. Perhaps people aren’t afraid of their jobs, family, and friends. Maybe they know right where the edge is. I’m the asshole who breezed over it without notice and now I live beyond the edge. If that’s the case, between the edge and myself is a very short span. I can appreciate that. However, I don’t believe that’s the case.
Since I just managed to waste a few minutes of your life, you’re going to be especially disappointed when this doesn’t have any sort of climactic conclusion. Sorry for that. To wrap this up: If you are not willing to embrace any sort of drug culture, please remember, that is as much your choice as it is for the person who wishes to expand their own mind. As for the edge, I don’t believe there is any recognizing it; even for those who’ve gone over. They most likely forgot there was ever an edge. Maybe there isn’t one. Maybe its just part of our culture’s invisible hierarchy. It’s just another way to separate you from me.
Hunters the shit!
one liners rock!
But seriously, I can totally dig on this, I’ve been confused about the edge for too damn long, and the further and further out to it I think I get, the further away from “their” edge I actually am. But then I realize I’m not the only one out here standing in the abyss.